a movie, some agonies, and the purest and most beautiful laughter I have ever seen

It's been a few hours since i have woken up, and as you know, every minute is a progressive depreciation of the narrative value.  and since it's been so many hours, a few hours, i don't any mire remember how exactly this dream began, or how it ended.  but it had moments of joy, and moments of anguish.  the dream was in mixed media, as you will soon read.

so here are few of the "episodes" from the dream, in the order i remember them,

1) I am watching a movie on a very portable and almost flat device (it could well have been a TV - but i don't remember).  there are a group of female kids, very small kids (may be in their third or fourth grade).  they are all wearing the blue and white school uniforms (like the one for small female kids in which you have a navy-blue dress-like hanging from your shoulders and you wear white shirts beneath them) and i think they were all wearing the black school uniform shoes too (what was that brand which specialised in it?  Anyways, you get the picture)..  Now the TV screen (or whatever it was) is faced towards me, and these students (and i think they are my students and i am their teacher in the dream), though facing at 90 degrees , is also, as I see, able o see the movie well enough.  (so if we draw  straight line connecting my line of vision with theirs, we get a x-y axis and the TV is placed somewhere within the graph space).

This particular scene comes up in the movie (This movie might bear resemblances to movies I have seen, but does not correspond to any particular movie, and therefore is quite original).  The two female leads (these are the leads of the movie.  there are no male leads in this movie), they are students and they are in their school uniforms too, are sitting in the classroom and chatting with each other.  One of them is a mainstream Indian face, and the other one has a Mongloid face.  Incidentally (in the dream, I don't of course know how to interpret this incidentality, yet) there is a Mongloid girl in my class too, who looks almost the same as one of the two leads (Incidentally, both the Mongloid girls looked like one of my Chinese classmates).  Now, because they are constantly chatting to each other, for some time (which appeared like long because i was waiting eagerly) only the left half of her face could be seen.  When finally her entire face came on screen frontally I hid the other lead's face with my palm and told my class (and we are all seated on the floor - I know where this image came from- I was watching "Veettilekkulla Vazhi", a 2011 Malayalam movie directed by Dr. Biju late in to last night and it has a scene of a village tribal school in which the students were seated on the floor), so I told my class, "see almost every chinky (I know it is an offensive racist term, but in my everyday life I use the term more in  racist way to refer to Mongloid people - I apologize.  But anyways that was the word I used), so yeah, "see, almost every chinky looks like this" and before I had finished, one of my students from behind (the look-alike girl is seated in the front row, and there are three rows, and the student who would gesture the next dialogue was in the third row).. so the student from behind (who, though a third or fourth grader in the dream, was one of my favourite students from real life) gestured (that is, she made the appropriate facial movement but did not say it aloud) "she (her classmate) looks like her (the lead)" and from her face it was clear that she did not mean that this would be in anyways offensive, but was rather gesturing that it was so cute that they look alike.
So as soon as I made my statement and as soon as the student from the backrow made her gesture, the look-alike student from the first row saw the face on the TV and, how shall I explain it, she went in to such a phase of laughter that she lied down on the floor laughing (no, she was not rolling over), and she was tapping the back of her feet on the floor laughing.  I had not seen so much happiness before.  i don't know if it was just happiness, or some pure joy.  I don't even know, now that I have woken up and am writing this, if she was even mocking me.

anyways, that is the first scene from the dream.

2) In the second episode that I remember, I think we were watching the same movie, but the lead characters have grown up.  also, now i was watching it in a theatre.  I was watching it by the sidelines of a theatre.  The venue is quite known to me, and it is a theatre in a university space (as I know from real life, but there was indication of it in the dream) and the side doors were open and I was watching it through one of the doors, standing in the corridor, and next to me was this pretty girl Ra (k).  I soon realized, upon a particular scene in the movie in which a song is about to begin, a scene in which the two lead characters are hunched down on an elevated public-performance-type floor, that a famous song is actually from this movie.  I soon pointed it out to Ra and she too seemed to know (the song had a name in the dream and I rememeber it to be "Sajna" and sung by Phalguni Pathak.  But there is no such song or scene.  But I realized that the lead actress is indeed a copy of Devika from "Maine Paayal" of Pathak [see the end of this post], but with a more imposing mix of Genelia).

Now the third episode that I remember, and I am not sure if the third scene came before or after the fourth.

3) The third episode is the agonizing scene.  So after the movie we are seated in a small hall behind the theatre and everyone is eating plums (now, these plums are not just plums, it has something to do with some opinion of the movie - I think I know where this imagery is coming from - I always thought of explaining to a younger cousin of movie who has never asked me the question "what is the difference between communist and communist parties", the answer that "voting is like choosing between fruits",  I don't think the cousin who I wished would ask me this question would ever ask it to me, or that my vote will ever be a matter of concern, or I ever would be able to make this historic statement in a real-life familial situation - I am digressing).  So everyone was eating plums and Ad (k)   and Ar (k) were there and i was uncomfortable because of the recent unfortunate events between me and Ar (k) -(something which happened in real life but had a bearing on the dream as well) - and then Ad asked Ra (not Ar, Ra is the girl we met before) who had persuaded her to take the plums and she pointed at me and the Ad kept repeating the question and she kept pointing at me and it was obvious to me that Ad being a close friend of Ar, does not want to acknowledge that I have done a good thing (which is why the plum is not just a plum).

Now we come to the fourth and the last episode.

4) In this episode, it is the movie again.  We see the two leads cycling. And they reach a long stretch of sand.  At this point in the movie, it is an animation, and also I, who is watching it, is facing the huge screen from directly in front of it and the screen is at a thirty degree elevation from my eye-level.  So in the movie - the two leads on their cycles (side view) goes down in to the sand in a typical Tom-and-Jerry digging-in style (for example remember how they just squeeze themselves in and all we see is that there is some movement under the sand and that sand is protruding upwards).
Next my vision becomes the vision of one of the lead actresses (who looks more like Genelia now - I wonder how the Mongloid girl turned out so) , and so I have my cycle on my side and I am walking through a cave (under that long stretch of sand) and then suddenly I see that this cave leads to an opening (and therefore light), but there is another cave with the same opening and there  a football team is walking towards their match in a single file and I see their coach, who was Amitabh Bacchan.  At this point of time, though it is happening in real world, it seemed like the Amitabh Bacchan character is a character from a movie, but it is a movie without a screen.  Also I remember, though in the dream it appeared quite natural, that the football team did not have a uniform jersey and that I remember one player was wearing a white jersey while the one which followed him was wearing a red one.  Amitabh Bacchan was wearing long white sherwani with a light green (light pista green) scarf.  

See Devika here:

31/03/2012 Night

There has been a problem on the campus.  There are rightwingers, and then there are us.  There has been a recent election, and we have won.

I lean down to M (k), the somewhat of a leader of my group,  who was bent before a water tap as if to do ablutions (though not in the dream, in the real world, the nearest sim ilarity of those water taps are to those kept outside mosques so that those who come to pray can make their ablutions) and asks him the status in the campus.  He tells me that there are only 6 more right-wingers left.

Later all of us go back to our house  (we all live in a single house).  The house is independent with fencing of dried coconut leaves.  At the entrance through the fence stands the elected leader, who was our candidate.  In the dream (as well as in real life) he is someone who is alleged to be part of a woman harassment issue.  I remember how much I used to hate him.  But I also know that now I have reconciled.  He was shaking hands with everyone.  I was the last one.

I noticed that he was shaking hands with a fake hand that he was holding in his left hand  (so it is not like a glove that you wear one on top of other.  They are distinctly two different hands.)  I also notice that half of the baby finger is missing in the fake hand.  I asked him, “so it is a fake hand!” and neither he nor I thought it to be an offence because it was known (this was the commonsense of the dream because I had read so in a newspaper –again this is the memory in the dream and not in real life) that he was suffering from some allergy in hands  which gets triggered if he touches others’ hands.

Because he has long served our constituency (in real life as well as in dream), I decide to tell him about my uncle who has been the general secretary of the students’ wing of his party from our district.  He did not seem to be knowing him, and not just that, he even said, “this is the final year for those people, they should be quitting their posts now.”  Then I remembered that my uncle is in fact not anymore in the students wing, and that now he is in youth wing.  So I tell him that.  He asks me “General Secretary?”  and then I realize I know that he is not that important but that he is some sort of a secretary.  So I grope between different posts – joint sec? one of the secs? 

I could see the derision in his face, not so much on my ignorance as at the lowliness of my uncle’s post.

31/03/2012 b/w 0700-0820

This guy (k) meets me in the university where I study (in real life too).  The guy is an Arab, with a respectable demeanor, a beard which displays his piety (in real life he just has a moustache).  He has just been selected to a particular research centre, where I have been a Fellow for the past one year and am continuing (so is the case in real life too).  I know that he has just met A (k). 

He tells me that in the research centre that I have been a part of, there is something called “confederality”.  “Don’t you know of it, after being there for a year?”  The picture that flashes in my mind is that of a conference table with a long row of flags of different nations, and I distinctly remember a flag which was Australia/New Zealand.  It seems this is like a group of countries; and that they have a site and you can upload attested copies of your certificates there.  The copies have to be attested by your supervisor.  The Arab guy also told me that he has “some more work to do”, by which I understood that he is trying to make some fake certificates too. 

As I was more and more glued to this “confederality”, more out of a sense of  loss, he told me that he would take me to a place where I could do the needful right away.  What flashed in my mind was an empty classroom with an open and working laptop.

All these conversation was happening right outside the Administrative Building of the University.  Then he takes me inside the building, and the corridors were dark (unlike what they are in real life), and of the usual width.  After many turns which looked like we were passing through endless corridors with crowds at every turn, students passing both ways,  he said “Room No. 37” and then he was not to be seen (this disappearance was not a cause for concern in the dream though).   

I enter Room No. 37.  I see a lot of people there.  Most of them are not students.  They are much older.  They looked like non-teaching staff.  In the backbench, more with the body language of a student, sits my supervisor (same as the real life).  But I don’t go up and speak to anybody.  I sit, waiting.  And then I find out, from a yellow notice lying around, on which was printed in black letters were, SC&ST Blood Donation Camp.  I noticed that OBC was not there, to which I belong. 

I wondered if my supervisor was SC; I did not know him to be one.  I come out, and on my way I hear someone saying derisively about the gathering from the room itself, “we’ll need to do more for the elections.”  A lady is also coming out as I am walking out.  The lady is very beautiful.  She is wearing a white saree with red and golden borders.  She is very fair (like the traditional ghost characters in Kerala movies, in fact she does look like the ghost character from Ennu Swantham Janakikutty, but in the dream she is just an unknown woman).  Her bindi was more of a broad line than a circle., and it was bright and deep red. 

After coming out, I sit with a friend who is doing his Masters.  Soon his classmates start coming out and sitting around.  The closest to me was this girl who was wearing a cargo knee length trousers and green top.  Most of those who were sitting around were girls.  I wonder if they don’t notice me sitting there.  Because I am much senior to them, and that should be alienating them.  But they hardly seem to be noticing me.

I see the beautiful lady at a distance with her daughter who is just a toddler.  I glance at her daughter.  The daughter was wearing a saffron bindi of the usual circular variety (but it was more of a matter of fact than a cause of concern in the dream).  I see the woman spraying water out from her eyes.  (In the dream, this was not weird.  It was just like a normal exercise which people nevertheless rarely do; let’s say, like Yoga). 

There was a friend perched on a tree.  I narrate to him the entire “confederality” episode.   At the end of the story-telling, because the episode was a practical joke, I laugh.  I could hear a group of people laughing with me at a distance.  But I think they were making fun of me and my story-telling ability.

26/04/2012 Night

So there is this cultural fest..something something...we are denied permission...this guy (k), tall lanky dark goodlooking is kind of our natural leader...he is abusing the watchmen for not letting us in...

pilesis pilesis pilesis

there is this test.  not some competition or anything, more like a survival test.  i don't pass it, I die.  it is like a test of your power.  the power is in looking.  one after the other, i have enemies (all u).  There is a kind of modality involved: each time i face an enemy, he is placed behind me, and i am looking at him (it was always a "him" i think) turning left.  Then i feel weak.  the idea is that if i am able to look at him from right, then his power disappears and he is vanquished.   but to turn the head from the left to the right (that is 180 degrees) requires much much force, like it drains you.  But i succeed each time.

Until my final enemy.  i know this is my final enemy.  but the enemy has parted himself to two different human beings.

so there i am, facing the two enemies (actually, the one enemy who has become two).  on my left is a very small girl (she would be just old enough to be in fourth or fifth standard) and on my right is this innocuous looking (spectacled?) young man, in his twenties.  They are separated by a pillar.

I decide to face the girl first.  she is wearing a white top and a bright yellow short skirt.  I strategize.  i think that once i am near her, i will kick her on her crotch and then she will fly away.

So I walk to her.  and then she starts saying "Looking how beautiful my eyes are.  They are the most amazing eyes in the world".  I do look at them, and yes, they are indeed beautiful.  Just then she grabs me.

i shout out, i cry out, "God is the greatest", because i think the moment i say "God" she won't be able to possess me anymore.

I wake up in start